Validation

Isn’t that what we’re all truly after? Validation of one sort or another? Isn’t that why we’re all on this world wide web to show ourselves to all of the strangers of the planet. You don’t post things and hope no one sees them, right? We’re all just throwing our best out into the void of ones and zeros and hoping, hoping, hoping.

 

I’m not sure how many people can relate- a lot in my experiance, but i’ve recently found that having the validation of a few is almsot as good if not better than validation of a lot.

 

I’ve been posting my writing on AO3 for awhile, and recently hit a small vein of interaction within a fandom. I had never really felt such warmth so quickly before. Most of everything else I throw into the void isn’t so well recieved. (With few very rare exceptions)

 

But with my original project, I’ve tried to share it with at least 5 people and I’m sure a lot of you can relate to begging your friends and family to look at something you’ve spent hours on. Asking and bribing and begging only to be turned down. This keeps happening to me, has happened to me for years on so many different projects.

 

Something different happened though. I’ve actually had support from the get from one girl that I would do anything for. She’s been my soundboard and my support and has let me throw all my ideas at her feet and didn’t mind as I sorted through them in the dead of night-blowing her phone up with my absolute nonsense.

 

Recently I took a chance and asked another friend, “Hey, do you want to read my book?”

and you know what she said?

“Yes!”

And you know what she did? She read it. She didn’t just read it but she loved it. She talks to me about it and talks to me about my characters. I know I can get annoying, I’ve been a broken record with her for days, but I just can’t get over how surreal it is to have support? To get support in the middle of a project? To have someone love your characters like you do? To make a character within 5 minutes and still have them be loved and not just because the person is your friend, but because they see your worth?

Don’t give up hope, my little loves. You’ll find your supporters sooner or later, and when you do…

When you do, nothing will ever be the same.

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Success!

My entire house is sick right now. We’ve all been sick on and off since October and just can’t seem to shake this! I fought it off once but I think i’m getting this cold again!

But on the plus side I completed my first NaNoWriMo! It might not all have been on one project (it’s been spread between 3 tbh) But I did it! I completed camp Nano back in June as well!

Honestly my head is telling me it’s a dumb thing to be excited over, but I just can’t help it! I know it’s not a true success, but I Still Did It.

When you have such a lack of self esteem as I do, anything that makes you feel even halfway decent about yourself is a win! So even the small things, every consider it a win!

Did you make it out of bed today? Success!
Did you have breakfast? Success!
Did you wash your hair? Success!
Wash your face or do your bills or pet a dog? S u c c e s s.

You did it, be proud of yourself!I’m proud of you all

Adme

Now those of you that know me would know I hardly have a bad thing to say about anyone or anything. I always try to find the good in things unless they’re very, very bad.

 

This is an instance where I was in love with an app because of what it allowed me, and how our lovestory came to a crash and burn October 26th 2018.

 

Adme was a lockscreen ad service- it would put an ad on your phones lock screen, and eveyr day you’d earn some money. It was paltry sums of cents here and cents there. but over a year you could get upward of $30 just for casual usage of your phone.

I take care of my 92 year old grandmother for a living. she makes too much for me to get paid taking care of her. It’s hard work and it’s thankless work, but for my mother and brother and friends I turned to survey sites and phone apps for some money for christmas and birthdays and other random holidays.

 

Adme was one of my first, and I loved it very much.

 

I had over $30 saved up and was so excited to cash out. it was going to be an amazing christmas this year.

 

Except on the 26th of October I checked my email.

 

I had one from Adme saying they were going in a different direction.

 

I don’t check my email often, and gmail puts your mail in to separate folders, so I certainly don’t check every folder often.

 

The email stated alongside their different direction, that the last day to cash out was the 25th.

 

It was the 26th almost 27th for me. So I did what anyone in that situation would do- I emailed them.

 

I was very kind, curteous and told them the situation.

 

They ignored me.

 

I tried once more.

 

They ignored me again.

 

Now i’ve given up. I try to not morn the things I could have gotten for the people I love with that $30. and I know how silly it is to be sad over such a measly sum. but it’s all i had.

 

I’m trying new apps out now, but i’ll always feel the sting of what Adme’s done to me.

Finished!

I’m sure it’s known by now I like projects, and I have A  Lot of projects.

 

But today One(1) collab has been finished! (I mean, it opens to a whole nother project, aka Book 2) But it’s SO nice to be able to see over 250 pages that I helped write!

I don’t even like everything going on but who cares? It’s done now!!

 

Now I have to think about a True Bad Guy speech…

 

…….and maybe start another project. 😉

Collabing (The Good, Bad & Ugly)

So! Collabing with a friend (Or friends!) it’s a pretty great thing right? At least in my experiance! I’ve had a friend for more than half my life now, and she’s a real gem and we’ve decided to write things together!

Fun right?

Sometimes! It really is!

Other times…not so much.

Now a disclaimer: This is all my experiance, I’m not a professional.

 

The Good:

  • More brains= more Ideas!
    • It’s hard having to rely on yourself all the time for ideas and characters, especially if you’re a ‘fly by the seat of your pants’ kinda gal like me. A partner (or several!) can really boost the idea flow!
  • More content!
    • Similar to point one, but with more ideas and different kinds of thoughts and people, you can get a really dynamic, diverse story and cast and plot! Someone else could come up with something you never would have in a million years!

 

The Bad:

  • With more ideas comes more conflict.
    • let’s face it, we’re never going to love every single thing that the people we love come up with. Just because you love a person, doesn’t mean you’re going to love all of their ideas. Especially when it comes to a baby you’re both working on.

 

The Ugly:

  • Conflict
  • Stress
  • Anxiety
  • Guilt

 

I know it seems counter productive to list so few things and then just put a bunch of things i’m sure we all feel anyway. But take it from me, working on something with someone else can bring these thoughts up a lot more often than you thought.

 

In my personal experiance, I may love the person, love the story and plot and characters, but every time I open that shared doc, my heart starts to pound and I get light headed and dizzy. Is this normal? I don’t really know. But it happens every time on every project we share (Which is 3 now!)

 

Along with that, and along with sharing all of this, you’re sharing your characters, and your friends/partners might not have as good of a grasp on them as you do, and you might live in different time zones, so you update sporradiclly. You might be asleep when they write and so on. Sometimes this leads to a conflict when you read the section your friend/partner has written and it just… it doesn’t correspond to your idea of your character at all. You get nauseous and shaky when you bring it up, hating to let them down because you’re essentially putting down their work- aren’t you?

 

I hate having to say, “Oh…so and so wouldn’t say this/do this, they’d actually-” it just feels so mean. Like such a jerk move. Maybe it’s my fault you know? Maybe it’s no ones but it’s such a problem for me.

 

But i’ve learned that it’s normal to feel defensive/protective of your characters, even in a collab. They’re yours, you know? It’s hard to learn but it’s okay to let people know, even people you love that hey, this character wouldn’t do this, they’d actually do this.

 

If that leads to a re-write? At least you’ve doubled your nano count for the day!

 

 

Final bit of advice? Communicate! leave notes on your documents for your friends, talk in depth about plot and character and things like that. Try to really understand your characters, compare them to another beloved character you both/all know so your friend has a good idea of how to portray them with their writing.

 

Last of all? Keep writing! It doesn’t have to be good, it just has to be written down.

New Projects

I’ve been away from this for quite awhile huh! I’m quite a scatterbrain most of the time and a lot has happened since I was last updating!

My sewing machine has been put away for a time, but I did learn how to make drawstring bags pretty well before I put it away! I still haven’t quite finished my outfits but WIP doesn’t have a timeline!

Right now, i’ve signed up to a lot of events and even more group chats! It’s a big step for me, im pretty shy and anti-social, but I’ve clicked very well with one group! I feel i’ve made quite a few new, good friends!

I’ve also started a new original writing project! I’ve been splitting my nano word count between three projects. Two collabs and one original! I’m quite proud of a lot of them.

 

Has anyone here played Breath of the Wild? my newest original WIP is kind of based on it! or at least the freedom the game gives you! My favorite part of games like that is just the amount of travel and fun things I can discover! I desperately want some amiibos to play with as well!!

Also I’ve made a couple new clay friends! I’ve made my own version of Clay Succulent Turtles! (which aren’t great but they’re adorable! One’s for decorative purposes and the other is a ring holder! I’ve also made my mom a little festive Gingerbread man! He’s just a decorative little thing but she really wanted a gingerbread man!

What have you guys been up to? Any new fun crafts? Are you ready for the holidays?

Introduction

Hello all! My name is Gabrielle (you can call me Gabby) and I like to learn things. I don’t particularly like the beginning stages to learning. I don’t like being bad at things. But I know that to get better I have to try.

I’ve dipped my toes into a lot of creative outlets. Embroidery, sewing, claywork, writing, editing and I used to draw as well. I even like to mess around in the kitchen from time to time. I suffer from a flux of ideas, all the time. All day. Every day. But I’m also cursed with the lack of motivation, drive and follow through to see most projects through.

I’ve got a few health problems that probably add to that mix, and I can get pretty forgetful because of some of these problems, so it makes planning difficult to do. I need to write down my ideas immediately or else. Well, i’ll forget them! Funny enough I misplace notebooks I write in constantly. Thank god for the memo app!

I’m looking to making myself better. I’m trying to be better. Braver. It’s hard, and i’m a coward. But I hope this can see some positive changes in me. I hope I can get an audience that will encourage me, or even just be there. If I can connect to people, that’s a huge goal. I want to connect to whoever reads this.

So please, don’t be afraid to leave comments. I’m just as afraid as you are, but I’ve reached a point of f**k it.

I hope I can help you to do the same.